October 26, 2003
By Jack Price

I have a question for you -- "What do you want?"  I hope it's a question filled with possibilities and excitement for you.  So, what do you want?  There are two things to know about that question.  First, you don't always get what you want.  Just ask the Yankees after the World Series.  Second, though, is that you often do get what you want if you want it badly enough, if you're willing to commit, work hard and sacrifice.  There is something else, too.  Be careful lest you get what you wish for. 

Comedian Steve Martin used to do a routine at the Christmas season.  He would sit in a comfortable chair and say in his mellow voice:  "If I had just one wish this season, I'd wish to hear the voices of all the children of the world singing together a song of peace."  Then he would go on:  "If I had two wishes, first 'I'd wish for all the money in the world and, second, to hear the voices of all the children of the world singing together a song of peace.'"  Each added wish brought dreams of power, of adulation, of adulation, of longevity and, as an afterthought, the voices of children singing for world peace.  I found him funny perhaps in part because his exaggerated and distorted priorities mirrored to some extent my own honest feelings.  Who does not desire power, at least the power of having choices?  Who does not want wealth, at least freedom from poverty?  Who does not seek adulation, or at least acceptance and a place to belong?

Just a few verses earlier in Mark's Gospel, Jesus asked his disciples James and John the question, "What do you want?"  They asked for places of honor with Jesus.  "You don't know what you're asking," he said.  Jesus asked the same question of blind beggar Bartimaeus and the response was quite different.

Let us continue on the road to Jerusalem with Mark's Gospel as our guide.  The Jesus "community" is approaching Jerusalem.  Their last stopover is the suburban town of Jericho, just fifteen miles to Jerusalem.  Now, the real action place in Jericho was the road "out of town."  This was the prime place for beggars.  They had direct access to pilgrims with money and piety, a dangerous combination.  And there were no "traffic lights" and open car windows with which to contend. 

The primary players in today's story are Jesus, the crowd of people - including the disciples, and Bartimaeus.   The prefix "bar" means "son of."  Bar-Timaeus may well have been translated, "son of the unclean."  Bartimaeus was destitute and blind.  He was ritually unclean.  He was a living example of "the least" and he was certainly not going to Jerusalem.  He would not have been welcome in the Temple. 

            Our story unfolds as Bartimaeus hears that Jesus is near by.  In desperation he shouts out, "Jesus, Son of David, have pity(mercy) on me."  In Mark, this is the first usage of that title for Jesus.  The only other usage is at Jesus triumphal entry.  Bartimaeus shouts out and the crowd tries to silence him.  Crowds often try to silence the ones who cry out.  Maybe they were the Jericho Chamber of Commerce, trying to keep the town's tourist-friendly image in tact?  Then, he shouts again, "Son of David, have pity(mercy) on me."  Bartimaeus uses "Son of David" to get Jesus' attention.  It works!  Jesus stops, stands still, and says, "Call him to me." 

Bartimaeus "races" to Jesus.  The dramatic language bespeaks action and enthusiasm.  He "threw off his cloak.  The Greek word apobalon means to "abandon" or lay aside.  Bartimaeus threw aside his only possession, jumped up, and "came to Jesus."  And Jesus speaks to him, The Question - "All right, you've got my attention?  What is so important?  "What do you want me to do for you?"  It's the same question he asked James and John a few verses earlier.  And Bartimaeus responds with reverence -- "Rabbouni."  Like Mary in the garden of resurrection, Bartimaeus addresses Jesus face to face, "MY TEACHER". 

"What do you want?

"I want to see again" 

Bartimaeus may once have been sighted?  May he spoke in a form of the familiar hymn - "I once could see, but now am blind."  And maybe he was not totally blind but only sight impaired.  He certainly seemed to come to Jesus without assistance.  But he does come and Jesus takes no action to heal him.  He only says, "Your faith has made you whole."  Sight returns to Bartimaeus and, without specific invitation to follow, follows  Jesus.

Mark's invites us to see his overall story, to see Bartimaeus in contrast with the rich young man.  Both encounter Jesus "on the way."  The rich man initiates his encounter with the title, "Good teacher," seeking equal status with Jesus.  Bartimaeus approaches Jesus with reverence-"My Teacher."  Bartimaeus recognizes who Jesus is -the Messiah.  From the bottom of the social and religious scale, he does not even wait for a call to discipleship, but springs up an follows.  The rich man walks away sadly, an example of non-discipleship.  From the top of the social and religious scale, he rejects a direct call to discipleship because he cannot let go of his many possessions.  So, he does not follow. 

Bartimaeus flings away his one possession, a cloak, and follows.  He is symbolic of the "poor" who join in the "assault" on Jerusalem, the center of religious power.  Against formidable odds, Brtimaeus perseveres and takes the initiative of faith.  2.         Compare Bartimaeus with the disciples James and John.  Jesus asks, "What do you want?"  James and John respond, "Status & privilege."  Bartimaeus asks to regain his sight.

The crowd tells Bartimaeus to "take courage" just as Jesus had told his disciples in a storm-tossed boat to "take courage."  "And it is the beggar who follows."  Ched Myers, in his book Binding the Strong Man, writes, "Only if the disciples/reader struggles against the internal demons that render us deaf and mute, only if we renounce our thirst for power - in a word, only if we recognize our blindness and seek true vision-then can the discipleship adventure carry."

            Knowing what you want is a most challenging task.  As a society, we spend millions of dollars annually on this question.  We seek therapy, go to seminars, and read books and articles.  Then, there are the TV talk shows and always talk radio.  You have no shortage of people willing to tell you what you want - professional "advice givers," political and religious leaders, and of course marketers.

            Commercial industry spends even more than individuals on marketing, trying to adjust people's "wants," trying to get you to want their product.  They desperate want to create with each of us a feeling of almost desperate desire for their product.

            The biggest challenge of discipleship is to change our wants and to learn to want what God wants for us.  The psalmist (Ps. 42-3) sings of a longing for God.  Changing our wants to want for ourselves what God wants for us involves becoming desperate for God, wanting God more than any other want.

Knowing what you want is no guarantee you'll get it.  But not knowing almost guarantees you won't or, if you do, you won't recognize it when you get it.  Who here wants to have it all?  Can you give me a list of "it all."  Of course, common sense tell us we can't "have it all."  Some things cancel out others.  One cannot be completely spontaneously and at the same time very consistent; both totally unpredictable and well organized; or absolutely just and also completely merciful.  Common sense and experience says you have to make some choices.  Most people are willing to accept that you literally can't have and do everything.  The truth of the matter is that the need to choose, and the effects of our choices are even more radical and irrevocable than we think.

What you can do is decide what you want more than anything.  By deciding what that is you are clarifying identity, the "Who am I?" question.  By choosing what you want most of all, you are clarifying your mission - "Where am I going?"  Gaining clarity in "wanting" identifies what you do not want to give energy to that prevents or inhibits what needs your energy. 

            As a congregation, we give a lot of energy to our individual journeys and pathologies.  That translates into less energy for community life and action.  Such choices are not necessarily bad or good.  They are real choices with real consequences.  A number of years ago, I worked on the staff of a church in Washington, DC who had made a conscious decision to be racially integrated.  In a time and place of racial polarization, their choice was to expend energy in community life to live as a racially mixed family of faith.  One of the results was that there was less energy to give to outreach and mission work in the community.

So, what do you want?  Last weekend, at our congregation's Self-Discovery Retreat, one of the exercises was a Put Yourself in the Story exercise, a guided meditation using the story of Martha and Mary from the gospels.  I was doing okay with it, visualizing the house and the fireplace area where Martha was.  She was upset because Mary was not helping with waiting on their guests.  I found myself torn - sympathizing with Martha's feelings yet wanting to sit with Jesus and listen to him.  The direction was then to visualize Jesus standing and speaking to us.  Do you know what he said to me?  "What do you want?"

You can have what you really want and what you're passionate about.  You can have what  you're desperate for if that's all you are willing to have.  On the other hand, you can have what you'll settle for, including the appearance (but not the substance) of what you really want.  You don't have to be passionate.  You don't have to desperate.  The truth is you can have what you really want and you get to decide if it is worth wanting above all else.

Mark's Gospel clearly teaches that blind beggars can see Jesus while sighted disciples often only see what they have to lose; that worthless children walk right into the gates of heaven while many of the rest of us get stuck trying to drag in all our baggage.  Clearly, the least among us follow Jesus because they have no place else to turn while many of the rest of us are left scratching our heads, wondering if this is what we really want!  What will your wants be?  Will you want, like rich man, to have both your "stuff" and eternal abundant life; to choose your "stuff" over Jesus and turn away from following.  Will you want, like  disciples James and John, to have glory, status, and success and wonder why Jesus' words keep confusing you?  Or will you want like blind and destitute Bartimaeus?  Without hope from any other source, will you cry just this, "I want to see!"